#Stealthmode Questions to Make Sure You Pick the Perfect Engagement Ring

This post was republished with permission from Little Bird. Little Bird Founder Daniele Mainas is an engagement ring consultant who has helped over 3000 couples find the perfect ring. 

Couple on a bench

You're lying in bed, but you're still flying high off that pour over you thought was a good idea at 3 pm. You have a long car ride ahead of you and you've already listened to all of the recent The Moth podcasts. You're hanging in the park just kicking back and acro-yoga just isn't your thing. The next time you have some alone time with your partner and want to pick their brain re: engagement rings, we've got you covered.

1. How do you feel about your friends who have gotten engaged? What’s the gossip? Do any of your friends secretly not like their rings?

Any single question you ask will prompt a conversation and probably a one-sided info download at that. You might not be so interested in the content of said gossip (whether it be positive or negative isn't the point. Regardless, there are likely a few pieces of knowledge you can glean from asking about your partner's reaction to a friend's engagement ring/proposal. And since you're inquiring about rings of people you guys know, you just might have the opportunity to see these rings in person! This was you can learn what works and what doesn't work engagement ring-wise for your partner.

2. Did your friend’s now fiancé ask you to help them out and shop with them or get any insider advice? Like, did you know the proposal was coming?

This might clue you into what the process has been like for others. You might learn something valuable here. Bonus: you don't really need to have anything to say in response. A simple "that's wild!" or "wow, crazy!" will totally suffice as a response to whatever intel you absorb through this light-hearted conversation. Perhaps you'll find out that she prioritizes size over color or the other way around. Maybe she will divulge her favorite precious metal color (yellow, white or rose).

3. I read today that your dominant hand is actually larger than your non-dominant hand. Did you know that? Super weird, like your whole hand is .5-1 ring size small on your non-dominant hand...

Sure, this might seem a tad transparent, however, RING SIZE STRUGGLES ARE REAL. It's usually the last obstacle one needs to pass in order to nail the engagement ring shopping process on the down low. If having a conversation about ring size is completely out of the question, check this out: 11 Things You Need to Know about Engagement Ring Sizing

4. Would you want to design something together or would you want me to surprise you out of the blue? 

Yes, this is getting deep into the engagement ring conversation. This question works so so so so well for couples who have discussed getting married already. This probably isn't one to lead the conversation with, but it will clue you into how to build the best dynamic for getting engaged.

5. Do you think it’s odd to wear an antique ring that someone else once wore?

Antique rings are where it's at if you want to: find a completely unique engagement ring, save money on the ring purchase, buy something that is recycled and doesn't require new mining. What's not to love? Well, maybe your partner doesn't dig the style of antique rings or the fact that someone else once wore it, or perhaps she has something so specific in mind that an antique just wouldn't fit her vision. There are many reasons why an antique is a great choice and many reasons why it might not work for you. 

6. What do you think about the value of diamonds vs. other stones, like sapphires or something?

Alternative central gems are super cool. They can often be less expensive, more eye-catching and certainly, they add a one-of-a-kind feel. It's good to know specific sizes, shapes, and colors of stones that your partner may be attracted to. Get her talking.